Burns Supper
9 February 2019

Ciaran Sinclair piped in the haggis pie then Bill Andrew recited his own composition, Address To The Haggis Pie, the words of which are given below.

Whaur is yer honest sonsie face, O dearie me, O my, O my
A bonnie big haggis you are no' so how can I address a haggis pie.
Wid Rabbie eat a haggis pie - naw - so why are you here in this place
Awa' back tae the Kandy Bar for you're no' wan o the puddin' race

A real Haggis I've addressed before but I'm no so sure that I am able
To address that wee sleekit, scunnering pie thing, sitting on this table
Father Duncan's asked me tae dae it so I'll need tae gie it a try
But a man like me shouldnae have tae gie an address tae a haggis pie

Did ye mibbee come frae Lothian's butcher's shoap
Ye jist look like a tattie scone wae some mince on the toap
Wae horns, tatties an' tumshie, this great big pie dish ye fill
But it looks as if ye've jist blew doon frae the tap o the Cannon Hill

But wee Haggis Pie, I jist have to say, ye've no got a very braw face
For your no a real haggis - imposter - you're jist a blooming disgrace
Now I dinna want to gie ye grief or to make too much o' a fuss.
But it looks like ye've jee'st fallen aff the back o' an A1 bus

A bonnie big haggis wae tatties and turnip is really a much nicer feast
Black puddin', tripe, clootie dumpling but no this wee horrrible beast
It's no your fault, to be honest but ye really shouldnae be here
Ye see, this Burns Supperette was George McGrattan's big idea

So sorry wee pie, I've been telling a lie, I've ate one of your kind before
I ate a haggis pie supper from the chip van that sits doon the shore
So lasses and lads, I've been kidding ye on, I've really been telling a lie
So glasses we'll raise to join in the praise o' this humble wee haggis pie


© Bill Andrew, 2019